


forget me not

by eddychens



Category: Breddy, Brett Yang - Fandom, Eddy Chen - Fandom, Twosetviolin
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:07:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26987959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddychens/pseuds/eddychens
Summary: short oneshot where eddy was in love with his bestfriend. flowers in his lungs started to cling onto death as the love grew little by little, and brett wanted to stop it; but no matter how hard they try, it wasn't working.“i want to be the brightest star in your sky.”tw // MCD, death, suffocating
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	forget me not

**Author's Note:**

> thought i'd also put this here since i'm kinda proud of it !! it's my first time writing hanahaki, so i know i got things wrong so forgive me !!

everytime he looked in the mirror, he couldn't help but notice how his reflection was staring deeply into his soul with pity and agony. wasn't it enough? scorching fires in his heart whilst his lungs sprouting out colors of blue forget-me-nots that were affecting his breathing as the time passed little by little, it was almost as if it gave him a sense of what he feared the most; death. the feeling of hearts not tangled as one, the unrequited love has been spreading ever since he acknowledged

his breathing has been getting worse all these years of being with him. it was heaven and hell at the same time, tranquility and suffering in the hands of something fragile, someone who he loved for countless years and for eternity in his death bed. he was in love with his bestfriend.

“eddy?” a voice from the other side of the bathroom wall has chimed. he felt his breathing got worse as the voice echoed through his ears, that sweet harmony of flowers; it could be the death of him.

“i'm coming, brett!” eddy shouted back as he fixed his collar and sleeves to make sure he looked good. he smiled at the mirror once again, this time with confidence.

“whatever happens, i hope you'd be happy.” eddy said to himself and sighed.

opening the door he saw brett by the living room couch, all dressed up with his black long sleeve turtle neck and eddy's brown flannel laying atop of his shoulders which was a little too big for him but suited him quite well. the smile on his face never ceased to make eddy's heart rise and he couldn't help but feel the pain in his lungs.

“are you ready?” brett asked, eddy gulped. today was the day it could possibly all end, yet he was happy. happiness whether it's one-sided or reciprocated, it doesn't matter for him. he has brett in his arms right now, nothing could top this.

“i'm ready,” eddy smiled.

though eddy knew it was stupid in ways he can't explain. the iching feeling within him has made him realize that this night's going to be unforgettable sorrows, but it was ok; he has already accepted that fact.

getting into brett's mercedes benz, the calming aroma of sweet lemon air freshener has infected his almost weak lungs.

“where are we going, brett?” asked eddy who was sitting on the passenger's seat. looking at brett as he was fixing his hair on the rear mirror. eddy started to feel the infliction of pinning misery cripple into him. the sight of brett makes him weak as the smile on his face makes him strong. suddenly, he felt the sudden urge to cough; dozens of forget-me-nots spilled across brett's car floor. brett panicked and started to assist eddy by rubbing his back, he didn't know what to do.

_ it's starting. _

brett opened a bottle of water he had on the back seat and made eddy drink it. eddy swallowed every drop of the water he could, pushing down some flowers that were blocking his throat. he exhaled and inhaled deeply after that.

“are you ok?” brett asked, concerned in his voice and a hint of sadness.

eddy calming down a bit and looked at the man in the driver's seat, still catching his breath as brett noticed how pale the younger man looked.

“yes, i'm ok.” eddy smiled weakly and said thank you.

“i'm sorry,” brett suddenly said, “i'm sorry i can't love you.” brett slammed his head on the wheel, clutching his fists and hitting the steering wheel over and over. it was hard seeing him like this, eddy was brett's rock, his guidance and protection. he couldn't bear to see him in this state, it was rather unbearable. the intense feeling of guilt and wounds starting to form in brett's heart had made him weak. why was it so hard to love somebody you've spent your whole life with? it was still unknown for him, and it will be until eternity.

“i'm sorry that i can't unlove you, brett.” eddy said, gentle warmth in his eyes as he spoke in this darkness. brett gulped, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

eddy knew where it all started. that one friday evening in math tutoring, he met him. a fine boy with a mushroom haircut sat beside him in the second row, asking if he played violin. that very moment he knew, a sprout in his lung had gone to commence. love at first sight, might be unbelievable for the human mind; yet, it was true. one way or another, meeting brett in orchestra wouldn't matter after that encounter. eddy always knew he loved brett, it was only brett who could save him from this disease.

hanahaki.

but somehow, he just couldn't, no matter how hard he tried or forced it. brett couldn't reciprocate eddy's feelings. the guilt hurts him more than it should have, brett wasn't supposed to know in the first place, but he did; and he couldn't just get away without doing anything.

eddy wasn't planning on telling him. he couldn't muster up courage to tell him how he felt, he didn't want him to know his pathetic condition. it was all too painful for him.

_ eddy's breathing got worse, the disease already vivid in his lungs; he didn't know what to do. it started to affect his daily life, up to the point he swore he was in the edge of death. he was suffering from breathing, from the unrequited love that surfaced. he wants it over. _

_ “are you sure?” a man spoke, a husky and a concerning tone in his voice. _

_ eddy gulped, he didn't know if this was the right thing to do. in this type of situation, you just don't know whether to keep loving...or not love at all. _

_ “i'm not sure, ray.” eddy said as he ruffled his hair in frustration. _

_ “think about it first,” ray said and patted his back, worry and somewhat pity in his eyes for the younger man. it was more than heartbreaking. _

_ “i want to try and get them surgically removed, i do. but-” eddy got interrupted by brett slamming the door open with force. _

_ “what surgically removed?” brett almost shouted. _

_ eddy and ray, with shock in their eyes looked at each other. eddy's heart raced from anxiousness as he stood up to try to calm brett down. _

_ “brett, it's nothing.” eddy assured, “you don't have to know now.” _

_ “it's hanahaki, right?” brett asked, eddy shock in his eyes looked at the smaller man's as he tried to deny it, but failed from the sensation of brett's serious eyes pinning him across mountain skies. he was speechless. _

_ “i'm right, huh?” brett said again, this time hurt in his voice as he bit his lips to not cry. “it is me, eddy?” _

_eddy looked at the ground, he couldn't bear to see him like this. he felt a tear run across his face, his lungs affecting his sense of breathing. all of these emotions, all at once;_ _torment._

_ eddy looked at brett and smiled, “i'm sorry for loving you brett.” suddenly he felt loving arms around him, his shirt starting to stain with tears as brett was crying on eddy's chest. taken aback and shocked, he looked at the older man one last time and hugged him back. _

_ “don't say sorry, eddy. i'm the one who's supposed to say that.” brett said. _

_ “it's my fault for falling in love with you,” eddy said as he ruffled brett's hair that smelled of conditioner and sweet shampoo. _

_ “do you want to try?” brett asked, muffled voice as he was still in eddy's reach. _

_ “try what?” eddy said and rested his chin on brett's head. brett suddenly pulled away and looked into eddy's eyes with sincerity and longingness. _

_ “make me fall in love with you, eddy.” _

_ and in this moment eddy knew. even though it hurts, even though he was suffering in these hands of what he called his true love. it feels so good to have him, to be with him; moreover, love him. even if it was unrequited, eddy couldn't ask more than this. brett was enough, he was more than that. _

looking outside the window, eddy was silent the whole trip. some classical music played on the speakers as he was sulking embedded unto his seat. sighing with the awkward atmosphere in the air, he wanted to know something he didn't ask before.

“brett?” eddy said, still looking outside. so many street lights are visible on this cold summer night, in awe for them as they pass by.

“yes, eddy?” brett asked, still looking at the road to not cause any accidents.

“can i ask you something?” eddy asked as he looked at brett from the side.

“yea, what is it?” brett said, gazing a little to eddy as he looked back on the road.

“why are your favorite flowers forget-me-nots?” eddy rested his chin on his palm, while he was leaning onto the armrest of the car's door. now, looking at brett from the driver's seat.

brett laughed, and shook his head playfully, “no reason, i just thought they were pretty.”

“and it's blue, huh?” eddy said and smiled, it was brett's favorite color. “do you know what it means in hanakotoba?” he asked again, as he smiled at brett weakly.

“no? what does it mean?” brett asked, curious at what eddy had to say.

“true love.” eddy said and looked back outside the window. smiling as he remembered researching about brett's favorite flower, he didn't know about it until he coughed some out. he laughed.

“oh,” brett chuckled and smiled, quite baffled by the fact that he chose that flower coincidentally.

brett stopped the car in a parking lot, the smell of ocean air rose into their lungs as they got out of brett's car and into a shiny bright starry sky above them. brett admired eddy as he looked into the stars. he smiled weakly with the amount of energy he had left, took eddy's hand and intertwined them.

“it's pretty, huh?” brett said looking at the stars above.

“you are.” eddy said, looking at brett at his side. heart warm in this summer ocean breeze this was worth it.

brett smiled at eddy and suddenly ran to drag him to the shoreline. they both loved beaches, especially at night; there were no other people that could see them in this light. cold sand on their shoes, having no care in the world. they ran as far as they could until the water started hitting their soles. both laughing and smiling as they ran around in circles, eddy trying to hug brett in this darkness. their voice felt like it was echoing across the deserted beach, it was like heaven at this moment of glee. they didn't want this to end, especially eddy.

eddy finally hugged brett from behind, he spun around and landed on the soft sand below them. sighing and laughing without end, it died a little quicker than they thought it would. both hearts were anxious, this dream wasn't going to last forever. they were conflicted, lost souls who happened to be in this very moment of life and death faced upon them. they were reckless.

“brett?” eddy said.

“yes?” brett said as he looked at eddy from his side, admired him looking at the stars above.

“i'd be one with the stars soon,” he said and smiled. now, looking at brett with a genuine expression of happiness. “i want to be the brightest star in your sky.”

brett's sight started to become blurry from the tears coming out from his eyes. he couldn't bear to see eddy go.

“i'm sorry i can't unlove you, brett.” he said, taking brett's hand and placing it atop of his right cheek. “stay with me until my last breath?”

eddy gently placed his forehead unto brett's, still looking at each other's eyes. eddy wasn't crying, he was ready for what's to come. he has accepted his fate ever since the very beginning, it was inevitable.

“i told you not to say sorry,” brett said, tears staining his cheeks, licking his lips as it was salty. caressing eddy's cheek with his thumb, it hurts him.

“i wish i could've stayed longer, brett.” eddy said as his lungs started to malfunction. he gulped.

“i love you, eddy.” brett said as he gripped into eddy's shirt. /this is so hard, eddy./ brett thought as he closed his eyes, tears coming out from them one by one.

eddy chuckled, “you know you don't have to.” he said to brett as his breathing got harder and harder to manage.

“open your eyes, brett.” eddy said as he pulled him closer to him, resting his hand on his neck; caressing brett's jawline. “i want to see you for the last time.”

brett opened his eyes to eddy looking at him with the most sincere eyes he always had. brett smiled, and kissed eddy on the lips. it was a long passionate one, lips colliding and tears falling from brett's face. yet, after all this, he still couldn't give eddy genuine love that he deserved. brett didn't deserve him, he was too good for this world.

the kiss was interrupted by eddy coughing out forget-me-nots on the other side, he sat down and tried to breathe but he couldn't. brett was panicked, he didn't know what to do. looking nearby no one was there. he sat infront of eddy trying to calm him but it was too late, they knew this would happen eventually.

eddy tried his best to breathe, but it was painful. all these flowers on the ground, it was somewhat tormenting. eddy started to hit his chest with his fist but they knew it wouldn't work.

_ goodbye, brett. _

until his last breath, eddy couldn't help but think about brett. his everything, the love of his life. you can't force someone to love you, even if it meant your life. this is brett's epiphany, their epiphany. and brett couldn't help but cry loudly as he can within this ocean air tension. in his arms, eddy chen; a smile on his face as he rested atop of brett's chest without a breath. forget-me-nots flying across the horizon, a bright star in the sky for everyone to behold. love and loss.

**Author's Note:**

> author's note !! brett can't fall in love with eddy simply because you can't force someone to love you, even if it's a life and death situation. brett all his life has only seen eddy as his bestfriend and nothing more, nothing less; that's why it ended like that.


End file.
